


Talking About More

by Shaw



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Also PTSD tag because you KNOW they both got it, Canon Compliant, Couch Cuddles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Intimacy, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Terra loves and respects Aqua because he drinks his Love Aqua Juice everyday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 08:39:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17763479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shaw/pseuds/Shaw
Summary: Their hurt runs deep, deeper than they care to admit aloud. At least not to anyone but each other. The talk is long overdue and there are things both of them need to hear. Things that both of them need, more than anything, to say.





	Talking About More

**Author's Note:**

  * For [choi_kimmy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/choi_kimmy/gifts).



“We need to talk.” 

 

The words made Aqua’s blood run cold. White noise started to echo inside her head. She slowly looked up and took in Terra’s expression. The dark circles around his eyes were the same shade as hers, the exhaustion identical to the core. She took a deep breath and forced a smile to her face. She hoped it looked more convincing than it felt. 

 

“Of course… What do you want to talk about, Terra?” He took a heavy seat beside her, dipping the cushions of the couch down with his weight. She let herself be moved the small distance, arm flush against his. He held a tight grip on his knees, tan knuckles blanching paler. 

 

“I… I wanted to tell you that I was sorry. For everything. Not just what happened with… him, but _everything_.” Aqua stayed silent as Terra spoke. She kept her gaze to the ground, only able to bring herself to get as far as Terra’s chest before she was forced to lower her gaze again. She’d told him they would stop apologizing. Too late for that. She herself couldn’t count the amount of times the words had just, dropped from her lips when she looked at Ventus. 

 

“What do you mean, when you say that?” The question was tentative. Aqua wasn’t sure what kind of Pandora’s Box she was opening by voicing it. 

 

Terra was silent for a long, long time. He was trembling, almost violently, and Aqua couldn’t shake the instinctual feeling to embrace him and ground him. She couldn’t find the strength in herself currently to do so. 

 

“For… For when I would make you so angry you’d cry, and when I ruined your favorite skirt, and for doubting your skills just because I couldn’t come to terms with the fact you could be better than me-- that you _were_ and still _are_ better than me. For--”

 

“Stop.” Terra’s froze, chest heaving with labored breaths. Aqua could feel her own heart stuttering weakly as she moved her hand to Terra’s and slowly pried his fingers off of his knee. 

 

“You… You and I are different, Terra. Not superior or inferior to one another. Besides…” She stopped, vacantly looking away. The pause brought some alarm to Terra who gave Aqua’s hand a gentle squeeze. Well, what was likely supposed to be a gentle squeeze. 

“Aqua… The thoughts you have aren’t what define you. You… You would never do anything to hurt us. You wouldn’t leave us. You know that. _I_ know that.” 

 

She could finally lift her gaze to meet Terra’s. She wasn’t sure what she expected to find there, really. Dark blue eyes, nearly black as pitch in the current lighting, stared with clear worry. Something twanged in her, disturbing the current apathy resting over her heart like a film; the tears came shortly after. 

 

“Sometimes, I don’t know what to do, Terra. These thoughts… I thought I’d left them behind. When-- When Sora pulled me out… But they don’t _leave_. Sometimes I just get so… mad! At everything! At you, at Ventus, at Eraqus-- and it _hurts_!” Terra’s expression broke as Aqua’s trickle of tears turned into full out sobbing. He took her other hand into his own and pulled them to his chest, turning to face her better. 

 

“It makes me-- It makes me feel like I _hate_ you.” The words cracked out of Aqua, voice breaking. She could feel Terra’s heart thundering rapidly against her curled hands; she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the peculiar expression on his face. Something a bit like relief but a lot like compassion. 

 

“That’s… Normal.” He finally admitted, voice small. Aqua wanted to yell ‘No! It really is not normal!’ but refrained. She’d listen to what Terra had to say. They were… talking, weren’t they? 

 

“This… whole ordeal, had made me realize a lot of things. Maybe it was too little, too late, but… We have a second chance now. Aqua, feelings these things… You spent over a _decade_ in the Dark… Nobody came for you until it was almost too late.”

 

“Until it was useful.” She spat, not bothering to hide the anger welling inside of her. Terra smoothed a thumb over her hand thoughtfully.

 

“You have every right to be angry… I… I don’t know how you don’t hate me, considering everything I’ve…” 

 

“It wasn’t you, Terra. He was using you.”

 

“I know,” He said it like it was a burden to admit. Aqua finally made a move to hold Terra’s hands back. At some point they’d moved to face one another. Terra sat cross-legged while Aqua pulled her legs beneath her. “But I should have known better.” 

 

“Couldn’t that be said for all of us?” The question hung heavy over their heads. 

 

“What I’m saying… Is that, you can’t let your own emotions drive you back into despair. You can feel, Aqua. You’re allowed to feel.” Something about the whole thing, being told that she was allowed to feel things, made Aqua start to giggle. The giggles slowly became full out laughter, even as tears continued to ebb their way down her cheeks. 

 

“To be told that, by you of all people, Terra? You’ve really grown up, haven’t you?” The shell-shocked look on Terra’s face was quickly chased by raw embarrassment as his face darkened. He stuttered a couple times on what he was trying to say before huffing loudly. 

 

“I’m older than you, Aqua. I’m perfectly grown up, but if you mean emotionally, then yes. I have grown in that regard.” When he attempted to drop Aqua’s hands, she only held on tighter. She tugged them away from his chest and to her own. The space between them was closing slowly. 

 

“I’m really proud of you, Terra. I just hope that one day you can be proud of me too.” 

 

“I’ve always been proud of you.” He blurted. His brow had cinched slightly and without thinking Aqua reached up and smoothed at it with her thumb. 

 

“You’re… You’re what I aspire to be someday, Aqua.” It was her turn to be surprised. The admission made something in her gut coil in a way not completely unpleasant but not exactly enjoyable. Terra merely licked his lips and looked away awkwardly. She turned his face back to her own and smiled gently. 

 

“Don’t be so bashful all of a sudden. What happened to it being okay to feel?” 

 

“Don’t. It feels like you’re teasing me.” 

 

“If I was?” It had been a _very_ long time since she’d seen Terra pout. Despite the pout on his face, he leaned into Aqua’s hand with a sigh. 

 

“I… Still, wanted to apologize for one last thing. It doesn’t feel right. Aqua, I’m sorry that I ever let myself be goaded. I couldn’t think about anything but being strong, being better. I didn’t understand back then that the things I felt were just… apart of being human. My fear of being anything less than perfect… Ruined everything. If I hadn’t been so prideful, I could have--” 

 

“It’s too late.” Terra swallowed and lifted his gaze from where it had drifted. Aqua’s expression was open, peaceful. She ran a gentle touch over the rise of his cheek and leaned in enough to press their foreheads together. “It’s already been done. We can’t change the past. We can only try to control the present the best we can and hope for the future.” 

 

“... You sound very wise when you speak like that.” The glimmer of humor was not lost to Aqua. Terra was suddenly struck by just how much she smiled with her eyes. 

 

“Are you teasing me?” She questioned. 

 

“Maybe… and if I was?” The echo of her own words back at her only made Aqua’s smile widen. Terra found himself smiling back before moving to wrap Aqua in a hug. She settled her face in the crook of his neck with a soft sigh. Tentatively, he pressed a kiss into her hair. 

 

“There was… one more thing, that I wanted to talk to you about.” He admitted, after a long, intimate pause. They’d shifted, slowly starting to lay down on the couch together. Aqua had all but melted into a puddle, content with where she was snugly pressed against Terra. 

 

“Mm?” He had one hand pressed into the small of her back to keep her from falling off the couch, or perhaps to keep her flush against him. She wasn’t sure. She appreciated both equally as options. 

 

“I… Still need a master. To train me. It felt a little strange to ask Riku, given everything…” A long pause. Aqua quite suddenly sat up, a mystified expression on her face as she looked down at Terra. 

 

“Are you… Asking me to be your master? Terra?” All he had to offer her was a sheepish smile. A grin broke out on Aqua’s face as she flopped back down, nose to nose with him. 

 

“I’d love to train you, Terra. Just know I won’t go easy on you.” 

 

“I don’t think I’d want it any other way.” He murmured, closing the last bit of distance left between them.

**Author's Note:**

> Me, writing kisses? Not until they show one in the game, no no! We all know what happened anyways. ;3c 
> 
> Anyways! This one goes out to all my Terra/Aqua fans! You know that shit's canon! Also indulging myself a little bit in the end because I really like the idea of Aqua taking Terra and Ventus as her first apprentices as a master. This absolutely is an idea that's going to tie into another fic I have in the works... 
> 
> Extra special shout out to choi_kimmy who absolutely gave me the little nudge in the right direction for writing another Terra/Aqua fanfic! Hearts to you!
> 
> You know the drill! Thank you so much for reading, kudos appreciated and comments adored! Comments keep the fics running!


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